I hadn't posted in a long while, and the reason being this time around is because for the last year, I had been spending a lot of my time with my Mom and Dad. On February 6th, 2020 at 9:19pm my father, Gary Crow, breathed his last breath and then closed his eyes. Dad was just 5 days shy of turning 65. He had battled with MDS (Myleodysplastic Syndrome) since 2010. MDS is a form of Leukemia that affects the bone marrows ability to produce blood cells. His marrow was shot, it wasn't producing blood cells at all. Over the past 10 years the answer was to give him periodic blood transfusions, and chemo injections. Early 2019, at his doctors recommendation, we re-visited the idea of a Bone Marrow transplant. Dad's condition was worsening, and the doctors basically said, if you don't do this, you will die in 6 months. We opted for the Bone Marrow transplant, and my sister and I went and immediately got tested to see if we were compatible. Unfortunately we were not, but they found a 100% match in Germany, a 23 year old donor.
August of 2019, Mom and Dad temporarily moved in with Kristin and I, as he began his pre-treatment at MD Anderson. In September Dad was admitted, and the bone marrow transplant happened. It worked, it went well, and was uneventful. They let Dad out of the hospital by the end of October, on the condition that he would visit a couple times a week for check-ups. By Thanksgiving the donor cells had fully grafted with Dad's cells, and his body had accepted the new tissue....at least that's what the doctors told us. Keep in mind that Dad is on a LOT of different medications throughout this process: Anti-Virals, Anti-Fungals, Anti-Bacterials, Anti-Rejection, Immunosuppressants, among other things. This is a normal regimen for Cancer, Leukemia, and transplant patients. The goal here is to ensure nothing attacks the body while the body gets used to the new (donor tissue), and to keep all immune systems turned off so that they don't' attack anything while the body becomes acclimated to the new tissue. There were a few things that the doctors just didn't do anything about though. Dad had not eaten since before his transplant. By Thanksgiving it had been 3 months (90 days) since he last had a meal. He would take a bite of something and drink a Gatorade, but that was it. No food, no nutrition. However, everytime we told the doctors, they would test him and say he was not malnourished.
By Christmas, Dad had lost 60lbs and of course, was still not eating. He was taken off the Immunosuppressants on Dec. 22nd. The idea here was that the new tissue and DNA were active and it's time to turn his immune system back on. The next day, Dad began to lose movement in his feet. He began to fall and by Christmas day he could not lift his legs to get in bed or into the truck. We thought it was Muscle Atrophy because of the fact he wasn't eating. The last week of January Mom called me and said that Dad had not gotten out of bed for a week, was just laying there wasting on himself so she was taking him to MD Anderson. You can see from the timeline, he was dead within 3 weeks of arriving at MD Anderson. MD Anderson could not explain the condition, all the would call it was an ascending paralysis, a type of neuropathy. He tested positive for absolutely NOTHING. They ran every test they had, and I watched him lose control of his body as he laid there. The first few days he was able to use his hands and text and type on his phone, then he couldn't move his hands, then arms, and then his neck, and it just kept going up.
My father's life was stolen from him, he was too young, and he didn't deserve to suffer the way he did. You know how people have this idea of how things will be years from now, or how life will turn out? I remember as a kid watching my Dad and his father (Pappaw) and all the great things they go to do together. I have had this plan in my head the last 5-10 years that my Dad and I were going to do all of those things he got to do with his Dad. I was planning to take him on an Exotic Game Hunt, and I always wanted to take Kristin and go on a cruise with my parents. When I was younger, during Holidays, the women would go off and go shopping together, and then the guys would go and do their thing. Those moments I spent with my Dad and my Pappaw were priceless. I don't have children at the moment, but I already am sad that my children will not get those memories. Birthdays and Holidays just won't be the same without Dad.
My Dad was a great man and everything he did, he did for my Mother, my sister, and for me. Sometimes we take for granted the fact we have parents, but if you are lucky enough to have BOTH of your parents, you should pick the phone up and call them EVERY SINGLE DAY and do everything you can to spend as much time with them as possible. If you are like me and only have one parent left, then you need to love that parent twice as much, because I can promise you, as much as Dad's death hurts me, it hurts my mom more. I only wish I had spent more time with my parents, and talked to them more. I can't bring Dad back, and I can't go back in time, but what I can do is make sure I spend more time with my Mom so that I don't feel the same way when she passes on some day in the distant future. Cherish the time you have with your loved ones and tell them how much you love them, because the time you have with them is limited.
August of 2019, Mom and Dad temporarily moved in with Kristin and I, as he began his pre-treatment at MD Anderson. In September Dad was admitted, and the bone marrow transplant happened. It worked, it went well, and was uneventful. They let Dad out of the hospital by the end of October, on the condition that he would visit a couple times a week for check-ups. By Thanksgiving the donor cells had fully grafted with Dad's cells, and his body had accepted the new tissue....at least that's what the doctors told us. Keep in mind that Dad is on a LOT of different medications throughout this process: Anti-Virals, Anti-Fungals, Anti-Bacterials, Anti-Rejection, Immunosuppressants, among other things. This is a normal regimen for Cancer, Leukemia, and transplant patients. The goal here is to ensure nothing attacks the body while the body gets used to the new (donor tissue), and to keep all immune systems turned off so that they don't' attack anything while the body becomes acclimated to the new tissue. There were a few things that the doctors just didn't do anything about though. Dad had not eaten since before his transplant. By Thanksgiving it had been 3 months (90 days) since he last had a meal. He would take a bite of something and drink a Gatorade, but that was it. No food, no nutrition. However, everytime we told the doctors, they would test him and say he was not malnourished.
By Christmas, Dad had lost 60lbs and of course, was still not eating. He was taken off the Immunosuppressants on Dec. 22nd. The idea here was that the new tissue and DNA were active and it's time to turn his immune system back on. The next day, Dad began to lose movement in his feet. He began to fall and by Christmas day he could not lift his legs to get in bed or into the truck. We thought it was Muscle Atrophy because of the fact he wasn't eating. The last week of January Mom called me and said that Dad had not gotten out of bed for a week, was just laying there wasting on himself so she was taking him to MD Anderson. You can see from the timeline, he was dead within 3 weeks of arriving at MD Anderson. MD Anderson could not explain the condition, all the would call it was an ascending paralysis, a type of neuropathy. He tested positive for absolutely NOTHING. They ran every test they had, and I watched him lose control of his body as he laid there. The first few days he was able to use his hands and text and type on his phone, then he couldn't move his hands, then arms, and then his neck, and it just kept going up.
My father's life was stolen from him, he was too young, and he didn't deserve to suffer the way he did. You know how people have this idea of how things will be years from now, or how life will turn out? I remember as a kid watching my Dad and his father (Pappaw) and all the great things they go to do together. I have had this plan in my head the last 5-10 years that my Dad and I were going to do all of those things he got to do with his Dad. I was planning to take him on an Exotic Game Hunt, and I always wanted to take Kristin and go on a cruise with my parents. When I was younger, during Holidays, the women would go off and go shopping together, and then the guys would go and do their thing. Those moments I spent with my Dad and my Pappaw were priceless. I don't have children at the moment, but I already am sad that my children will not get those memories. Birthdays and Holidays just won't be the same without Dad.
My Dad was a great man and everything he did, he did for my Mother, my sister, and for me. Sometimes we take for granted the fact we have parents, but if you are lucky enough to have BOTH of your parents, you should pick the phone up and call them EVERY SINGLE DAY and do everything you can to spend as much time with them as possible. If you are like me and only have one parent left, then you need to love that parent twice as much, because I can promise you, as much as Dad's death hurts me, it hurts my mom more. I only wish I had spent more time with my parents, and talked to them more. I can't bring Dad back, and I can't go back in time, but what I can do is make sure I spend more time with my Mom so that I don't feel the same way when she passes on some day in the distant future. Cherish the time you have with your loved ones and tell them how much you love them, because the time you have with them is limited.
